True Happyness at its Greatest.

We Rarely have the chance to do something amazing for those that we care about most and dont see often but when we care about them that much we will do what ever it takes to make them happy. A lot of stuff has happened since my last post and i am mostly writing this to aim it at someone that is close to me and possibly her sister might be reading this.

Throughout our lives we meet a lot of people that are selfish and few that are selfless, if you are reading this then you most likely know me to be the better of the two (selfless) but its those who are selfless that usually teach us the most not only about life but also about our selves. We tend to do what ever it takes to make those who care about us happy no matter what it takes and even sometimes when we know we aren't ever going to be in the picture like we have always dreamed of. But for me being the bestest friend is close enough cuz i know I will never truly lose that person. We can always be there for them during the good and the bad and sometimes try to lead them on the right path but what may be the right path for them isnt always the one we are hoping it is. But to me it doesn't matter or appear to anyways(but deep down it does greatly) as long we are close to that person in one way or another. Most of that time it means being their friend and not giving up on them or their happyness and just being there for them but on occasion we run into the "love" problem where we ask ourselves "WHAT IF?" even though we know that deep down inside it will never happen....

About a week ago she was having trouble with her boyfriend and for the past 4 months she hasn't been able to sleep and her boyfriend had been hurting her, i felt so helpless but i knew i had to stand my ground we talked and we talked only to find out that we had the same kind of feelings for eachother (after 5 years of hiding it from her) so we made a plan and over the next couple days we were going to set it into action. We were going to get her out of that place and I was finally gonna do what I had always wanted to do with her which was spend the rest of my life with her cuz i knew we were so much alike i could always make her happy and i was willing to do what ever it took to make her laugh and make sure she was always happy and not sad. I finally told her how i felt and she started putting the plan into motion. She told him that she was leaving in 2 months and he told her she should go but the next night he came back from work begging for her to come back and promising he would do what ever it took to make her happy and change for him. she felt bad and since she is also selfless and still in love with him the plan came to a screeching halt and just as fast as it come it had also gone. i bought her a expensive gift that she would always carry around with her that would remind me no matter what the offer would always stand. but honestly i doubt that will ever happen(why fight for something you know your never going to have?). so now we are back to bestest friends again.....Deep down inside I'm not too sure how i feel (hurt, disappointed maybe, confused) but i guess i knew from the start it would never work, but then again thats just my life.

I often wonder why god or who ever is in charge of life throws in these curveballs but maybe its help us realise that dreams can never become reality, or maybe it gives us motivation to stop trying i havent quite really figured it out though. But what i do know is that I'm always gonna have that same dream of being able to spend the rest of my life with her in one way or another. Some people would say that I'm being a little selfish by thinking about me and her in that relationship but when you know and care about that one that much then you truly will do what ever it takes to make them happy especially if you arent in the picture.

I've been told when you are in true love you neither get hurt or ever hurt someone else, I've also been told that there is always one possibility for ending up happy with someone and im starting to agree with both but at the same time im starting to give up on both. Well at least if i ever die ill have the gifts that i leave for people for them to remember me by, and then they can look back and remember how much of a change i have truly made in their life :-)