I had to Let go

This whole journal entry is about letting go......

Life is really hard sometimes, especially when other people make your decisions for you. Sometimes its on purpose other times its on accident. But Life still goes on. I finally let go of one of the things that mattered most to me, my friendship. It takes a lot to get to me but watching people fail, or be in/have trouble and know that you cant do anything to help them is just too much to handle. Sometimes we let our emotions get the most of us and that is what happened. Then we end up saying somethings we regret saying and others we wish we had said them a long time ago. But on Friday I had no other option but to let go. The only way to really get to me(hurt me) is through my family and friends, I can handle any thing that happens to me but I can rarely handle what happens to the people I care about Most. And once I start caring about them then that piece of me is going to be there for the rest of my life, weather I want it to be or not. I don't care if I haven't heard from them in over a year or in as less as a hour ago, if they need a ride then I'll be there because thats the person I am. Sometimes People that we let go come back and other times they don't but anything can happen for the better or worse, If I'm right Then its going to turn out for the better(they are going to come back) but if I'm wrong then I'm wrong. Just because people change doesn't mean that thier memories/ thoughts/ or feelings change, it just means that something had to happen in order for them to go on in life. Sometimes its us and othertimes its otherpeople that we care about that change, But if its us then eather we are blind or we are just afraid to admit it( I know I am).

One of my teachers came up to me on friday because of some of the stuff that I had said and told me that if I was in the middle of the ocean and I had to choose between saving my life or saving someone elses he said that I would be in "survival mode" and that I would only think of myself. I told this to another one of my teachers and she said that she knows that I'm different then everyone else for that one reason. I would risk my life to save someone elses and anyone that is reading this post knows why I would(if not then refer to my older posts). What I am getting at is once some one is a part of my life then chances are that I'll do anything for that person to save them no matter if its at my cost, some people dont understand this way of thinking but I've never ever thought of doing it otherwise(I'm the farthest thing from selfish).

People have said that I have a great long term memory and that they wish that they could have a memory like mine but the only trouble with my memory is that you can never let go of your memories. And no matter what happens in the future we can always look back to those memories and know that that person will always be with us no matter where they are. Because memories sometimes are the onlything keeping people alive. Any way I'm Signing off, So Goodnight, And Goodluck!