It finally is happening.

Well change is finally happening in my life and I'm finally starting to adapt to this years changes in relationships, life, etc. When people start changing there is always going to be that one person who keeps looking back at the good time they had together and knowing that, eventually all he is going to be left with are the memories, because he is going to eventually have to let go all together to that person(just a heads up that "he" is me). But as we all get older this is bound to happen many times to the people we love and care about(no matter how hard we try to prevent this from happening). Sometimes it feels like its impossible but in the end we learn how to do it and how to cope with what we have to do.

Another one of my beliefs is that History always repeats its self. (Basically if it happened once then it will probably happen again). The above paragraph has happened more then once in my life but its happening(again) as you read this. Over time I will do what I have to do but I will always care about those people even though they may not care for me as much as they used to.

Every time I get close with someone(not love wise) I feel like I'm in heaven and everything is going to be ok, no matter what happens, its like the world is standing still just so that way you can enjoy it as much as you can, its like you could die right then and there and you would have mattered to someone, its like nothing else matters, its like seeing a 'whole new world' when you thought things like that could never happen but they are, its like so much more then I can describe and "its like" is really getting old now...........(that was a joke)..... But as I have learned from past expieriances Nothing Lasts Forever......the only exceptions to that are memories and souls..............(Any way back to what I was getting at). Every time I get close with someone eventually something happens (after a wile) change, and everytime that does happen it feels as if I am going to die, thats how painful it is. This is all because Being close with some one is the best thing you can have but when it is there one second and gone the next then it feels as if none of it really mattered, and none of it actually happened....Then all I am left with are the memories of the good times, the sad times, and the bad times, and I'm right where I was to begin with ..................alone (look up the lyrics for "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams").................. But life will always go on and the cycle will eventually repeat its self.

As I get older I begin to look at Life differently kinda like how everything is prodictable if you think about it hard enough, or how you already have the answers to all your questions with out having to ask them, and even how history/life keep repeating its self, and even Learning how to live and enjoy the present instead of looking at the past or prdicting the future. Even though I begin to look at life differently I still have the same thoughts and feelings. But as everyone grows and changes I stay the same(basically I'm left behind).